Interviews can be nerve-wracking, and for some people they feel completely overwhelming.
As a career coach, I often work with clients who have the skills, experience and passion for an opportunity, but struggle to demonstrate this in an interview because they become paralysed with anxiety. They hear a question and their mind goes blank. Things they know well, and could normally talk about easily, suddenly feel out of reach.
If this sounds familiar, preparing more answers may only be part of what you need. It can also help to explore the expectations you’re bringing into the interview, how you’re judging yourself and what you can do when you need time to think.
When the pressure comes from your own judgement
One client described her experience of interviews as “blacking out”. Faced with questions, she couldn’t bring to mind what she wanted to say. Afterwards, she struggled to remember anything about the interview itself.
She had relevant experience and plenty to offer. But something that helped her was recognising that the pressure wasn’t simply about what the panel might think of her. Her own judgement of herself was an important part of what was happening.
That distinction gave us something useful to explore. Alongside practising her answers, we could look at what she expected of herself and what she believed it meant if she couldn’t answer perfectly.
Your experience may be different. But it’s worth asking: am I worried about their judgement, my own, or both?
Reframe the interview
It’s easy to feel as though you’re under a microscope during an interview, especially when the opportunity matters to you. It can help to remember that the panel’s task is to assess your suitability for that particular role or course. They’re working with what you’re able to show them in a short conversation.
A difficult question, a hesitant answer or an unsuccessful interview can feel very personal. But it doesn’t give a complete picture of your abilities, your experience or what you could contribute.
Try thinking of the interview as a conversation with a purpose: an opportunity to explain your experience, discuss how you could contribute and learn more about the role.
Before practising, write down:
- What are they trying to find out about me?
- What experience could help me show them my strengths, skills and experience?
- What would I like to find out about this opportunity?
This can give your preparation a more concrete focus than “I must impress them”.
Notice what you’re expecting of yourself
Perhaps you feel you should answer immediately, never hesitate or know the answer to every question. Perhaps you believe that showing nerves will make you look unsuitable.
Ask yourself:
- What am I expecting myself to do perfectly?
- If I pause or lose my thread, what do I tell myself that means?
- Would I judge someone else as harshly for doing the same thing?
You might discover that you’re expecting an impeccable performance from yourself, when what you actually need is a clear enough account of your experience and thinking.
Try replacing an impossible requirement with something you can work with:
“I must answer straight away” could become “I can take a moment to consider the question.”
“I must have a perfect example” could become “I can choose a relevant example and explain what I did.”
These then act as reminders that you have some room to think, clarify and respond.
Prepare and practise in ways that help
Knowing your experience and speaking about it are different tasks. You may have plenty of notes but still feel unfamiliar with explaining them aloud.
Choose one question and practise talking through an answer. You could speak to someone you trust, make a voice recording or simply talk aloud while walking around the house. Start somewhere that feels manageable. If recording yourself makes you more self-conscious, you don’t need to begin there.
When reviewing an answer, focus on its usefulness:
- Did I answer the question?
- Did I make my own contribution clear?
- What is one thing I could explain more simply?
Try to avoid turning practice into another opportunity to scrutinise every hesitation or mannerism. The purpose is to become more familiar with talking about your experience.
Practise expressing the same example in slightly different ways, rather than memorising a script. That gives you room to adapt it to the question you’re actually asked.
Make a mind map of your examples
A mind map can help you organise what you have to draw on.
Put a skill or competency from the role criteria at the centre, then add examples of when you’ve demonstrated it. Use short prompts: the situation, what you did and what happened.
One example might connect to several areas, such as problem-solving, teamwork and communication. Seeing those connections can help you choose an example without feeling that each possible question needs a completely separate answer.
For more help structuring those examples, see my guide to using the STAR method for behavioural interview questions.
What to do when your mind goes blank
If your mind goes blank, you don’t have to fill the silence immediately. Give yourself a way to ask for thinking time.
You could say:
- “Let me take a moment to think about that.”
- “Could you repeat the question, please?”
- “Could you clarify what you mean by…?”
- “I’ve lost my thread for a moment. Let me go back to the question.”
Practise saying one or two of these aloud beforehand, so you’re familiar with the words if you need them.
Once you’ve paused, bring your attention back to what the question is asking. You don’t need to assemble the whole answer before beginning. Start with one relevant point or the outline of an example.
If you realise you’ve misunderstood the question, you can correct course: “I think I’ve focused on a different part of that. Let me address what you asked.”
A pause doesn’t guarantee that the words will return immediately. But it gives you an alternative to rushing, guessing or criticising yourself while trying to answer.
Choose an approach to calm your nerves beforehand
Gentle breathing is one option. The NHS suggests sitting comfortably, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth, and allowing the breath to move into your belly as far as feels comfortable. Keep it gentle rather than forcing deep breaths. Counting evenly as you breathe in and out is optional.
The NHS recommends practising regularly and continuing the exercise for at least five minutes. You can follow its breathing exercise for stress before deciding whether it’s useful for you.
Different things help different people. You may also find music or movement useful before an interview. Try a few approaches beforehand to discover what helps you feel more settled.
You may still feel nervous, even after doing something that helps you settle. That doesn’t mean it hasn’t helped, or that you can’t give a thoughtful answer. The aim is to feel more able to engage with the conversation, rather than completely free of nerves.
If anxiety feels overwhelming and what you’re trying isn’t helping, speak to your GP about further support. If you repeatedly struggle to remember what happened afterwards, seek advice rather than assuming anxiety is the cause.
If you’d like help exploring what happens for you in interviews and practising how to communicate your experience, book a free consultation.
